How Can I Be A Power

I sit behind an empty screen to add an ovuer
To a near tendril sense of desperation
Screaming out in a lone time voice
I need a savoury truth so I can sink my teeth into a slice of reality
Serving it up with a creme fresh clinkering
Falseness is always the way to go forward
So I try not to look at myself with any self conviction
That i may not carry out tasks in a necessary fashion to succeed
Son you will just stumble to your knees
Screams the spokes hitting chambers


I cant help but feel that every time is useless
In trying to fit in with the broken clothes
They tear us all from making a collage of insecurity
How we all break into the same forms of life
Apart from being one of those that exceeds expectations
I am lost in walls of wafted voices
Charmonade insurections of reputability
To count on in the social seconds of need
Please bare source to those who inflict you
With broken skins crackling in the movement

Shall we inflict you with the modern man moto
Of get it whilst one can to the cand on the eye
Break out a sweat when your name is called
For trial and duty of how you must succeed
Indebted to bewilderment voices souring
How can I be a power when I cant open the door for my voice
Power just shuts me up boxing my voice into a corner
Confused and beffudled to be left alone
Sulking with those outside tones
How can i be a power when there is no thorn on my rose

By Jeffrey Johns @ 17/9/2009

Broken Toys

Broken toys rattle in the pram
As Mummies coughing up skag
And Daddies pulling scams
To bring the medicine man
Down too town
Just give me one pure hit of sugar
She would croak in his ear
Full of anxiety and fear
That a dependency cohurses
as the baby would scream
And her thin thin pasty skin would cream
Rattling the pram with
Her waisting wrists knotted

Broken Toys rattle in the Pram

As the puncture holes
Lay bare in her arms
And Daddies teeth wore black
Filing into holes
Of emotional blackmail
Please pull us in the pennies
So we can feed this lovely child
He would shout
With a whisky stale smell
Too everything including his
Coat amd tail
As he would spend it
On the cheap white Lightening

Broken Toys rattle in the pram

Mummy would pull all of her favoures
As she is lost on a downward spiral
Of daddies lashing out fists
For once they were a happy couple
And he cared for her heart
Just to be taken out by a menacing diseas
Leaving her with scars
On her brazen arms
Marked lumps stick out like sore thumbs
Where he had battered her
With a bass ball bat

Broken Toys rattle in the pram

The Baby is lying dirty
Untreated due to the circumstances around it
The tears of desolation
Run down the marked face
As it cries out for more touches
Of the heart to give it some warmth
As Mothers breast milk has run dry
From her lust of the Honeycombe
And the brown sugar
She wants to fix up in her life

By Jeffrey Johns 14/6/09

Take it as the truth

Just sit here
And take it as the truth

The sweating tears are shaking
As its been just over a year
Since I was put under
From the bread and butter knife blunder
I sit on down at the student table flinching
Into the grounds of 22 Ashton gate rd
The damien voice playing me
Like a bow and fiddle
Highly strung and tensious
As laughter is swirling outside of me
It feels like as if I am being heckled
Torn apart because I can not smile
Through the dreary tears
As the others can not uncerstand
The shakingmental situation
As I lock myself in my room
Trying to skalpal off my hair
I'm just having one of those crisises
In confidence that preludes me
And sharks bighting on the distant memmories

Just sit here
And take it as the truth

I hear a knocking on my door
And the gentle tones of a housemate
Checking up on me and my mental displacement
I find myself red raw and rampant
At my subconcious energy making me sour
They persuade me down
As the tears are flowing out
Of frustrations of who I should be
The visions of the hospital flash
Infront of me
Causing my heart and skin to flinch
And I hear the laughter of my housemate
Lament around
I cant help but feel all the jokes are about me
I warn them that I am about to snap
Because I am on the last freying thethers
Of this long hold rope
They can see my eyes bleed with tears
As the sence my insecurities
As they fleet around me
I just haver to plead
Please leave me I need to be like this

Just sit here
And take it as the truth

I know you are all trying to do a supportive job
But at these times I need to cry out
Frustration times to heal myself
From these wounding chimes
Running around in this head
I spoke to their bending ears
As they tried to help me
Rip out my hairs looking on in despair
I found my lost sense of identity
Creeping up into this unstable head
I hope you can bare with me
Because this is something I dont want to be
So please do pardom me

Break Out

Break on out
To try and not
Let those voices
Get you right on down
Even though they are
Running you on the
Same old broken grounds

When you try and find your feet
Did you find yourself tumbling on down?
Were the questions so perplexing
That you were confused beguiled
Because you kept on thinking
Like a dranged child
Running on wild
Into the grey stone haze
Dripping with a black and white memmory
Of how life used to be
Dreaming of the things
That turned to dust
With the greatest of plans
And real life scams
To earn yourself the dream
Glam dram that you ran along
With I'm a supstar shlong
For it all to go wrong

Break on out
To try and not
Let those voices
Get you right on down
Even though they are
Running you on the
Same old broken grounds

So when you lying in a pram
did you ever think you would become
Such a strangely textured man?
With insecurities that does not
Want to play on the ill of ease
I mean I can pay for you
Just don't expect me to please you
I want to be MR Sympathy
But there is a Devil in me
Just choking on my voice of prosperity
Trying to join the dots od integrity
Like badly woven fabrics
Tattered and freyed
As everything that is false
Flambed and flanked
as those mateiriel dreams seem to fade

Break on out
To try and not
Let those voices
Get you right on down
Even though they are
Running you on the
Same old broken grounds

So try and trample your feet
Make a stance oh so neat
and not at all weak at the knees
To depleet yourself
with mental illness and wealt
Standing by in shody health
just waltering in stealth!

The Bridge

I find myself
Stood on the edge
Of this white bridge
The tears streaming on out
Of my blanket eyes
As the evening coldness
Just bights this lonesome feeling
As the crush just broke my heart

The only thing that gave me warmth
Was the waters swirling
Beneath my feet
The broken cries I give out
As desperation sweeps
Across this mind
With the voices
In my head calling out
Wanting me to jump on down
As I find myself clinging
Onto the white metal
Barriers at the edge of the Bridge

I take one stiffening breath
As the cold wind hits my face
Wondering why did I
Have to caught up in this place
And be born with a softness in heart
Thats cares
And gets burned all the time
So the coldness stains me
Picking off my hairs
As all the sense of smiling
Is drained on out
by the car crash
Of this hearts ride

If I had somebody
To give me a hug
A warmth and sensitivity to talk
Me through the mess in my head
Pulling on these lonesome voices
The heart strings sting
As I was bent over the edge
Because I had fallen
For bambi's eyes
Which drove like a stake into me

This cold heart just beats
Its final tones
A stair at the swirling undertones
The only sign of warmth
Is coming from the river bed
As I can see the only smiles
Fall on your face
When I am burried in box
with a six foot bed enclaved
So I wave bye bye
And take the final step
to cast myself away from this stress

Maybe there is something better for me
If I open the door
From this great hight
Would there be something of supprising
As I feel the voices try an talk me out
But all I can hear are
Ones of self doubt
Like the monsterous
person that I can be

So let me will out
And take my final bow
As the curtain are calling
For met me to fall on out!

by Jeffrey Johns 10/6/09