All I Want Is A Warm Heart

Life is uninspired
Each Breath feels lik a chore
As my heart clunks like a heavy heaving machine
The Coggs slowly grind with slow creeks
As the eyes lure with insipped images
Of peoples faces gurning at me

I bwould scream at the man sat opposit me
Looking sullen at me
He asks whats going on in my head?
My thoughts are buzzing around my head
As I gear up my voice
To try and project it out
Stumbling over my words

I try to rattle out my thoughts
Not wanting to lie to the man
For costing me arms and a legs
To listen to me
My falling voices lear with a nervouse energy
The man swipes away with his ears
And points of view are spinning me
Trying to trip me into something
Of a possitive menta state

But I know that when I am outside
My slate will be wiped into the cold dark dusk
Even if the sub is shining
I still can't see it
Because there are so many clouds in the way
I spoke with a heart choking frustration
As I talk of smiles intimidating me
Like shody clowns from the IT factory

The man cringes looking at my face
An airy scaredness trickles down from his eyes
I don't know why I am mentally in this place
Like a weary bird in a cage
Staring at the blank spaces in this world
A cold hearted mess in this life

All I want is a waRM heart in this world to try and hug me

I find myself looking at groups from the outsiders face
The happy chatting voices press press alienation
Haunting words in my head
I explained to the man
How I was better off Dead
Son I can see your voice is drowning down low in the muddy waters
But please don't go you have everything to grow
Just remember th smiles
But I aint seenh them for a while
God I used to remember Iused to love a smile
but now I can barely twinge my face
Without a worthless distate around me

By Jeffrey Johns 10/7/2009